G-RHBC2Z7L91 Checking on the Old Bag After a Night of Candy Corn and Old English - Today's Topic

Episode 45

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Published on:

30th Mar 2026

Checking on the Old Bag After a Night of Candy Corn and Old English

Episode Overview

In this episode, we talk about the "Big Three" of Human existence. We disregard careers, relationships, and hobbies to focus on eating garbage, sleeping, and the sheer euphoria of a good bathroom break. Plus, we explore the reality of an aging gut.

Key Discussion Points

  • The "Big Three" Fundamentals: Why eating, sleeping, and taking a dump are the only things that truly matter. Why do we spend our entire lives trying to get back to doing what we did as babies?
  • The Old Person Diet: Why retirement is basically just giving up and surviving on Little Debbie cupcakes, Tootsie Rolls, and candy corn until the end.
  • The Colostomy Bag Dilemma: A deeply unnecessary and visceral debate about whether having a colostomy bag is a tragic medical condition or the ultimate life hack for skipping the toilet. Why is a satisfying trip to the porcelain throne is the only true victory left in adulthood?
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About the Podcast

Today's Topic
Something we are trying because we usually like talking to each other.
What happens when friends start recording their conversations? You get Today's Topic. Join us as we pretend we aren't being recorded, attempting to not dox ourselves while maintaining some arbitrary level of authenticity. We don't claim to have any answers at all and we welcome any feedback about what we talk about in these sessions. We're the perfect soundtrack for your commute, that long car line, or finally getting to that gardening you've been putting off. We might be biased but we think you will enjoy the audio and we know your ears will thank you.

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